three months, ninety days, and 129600 minutes
by yuem
Summary: Remember how you were the first girl I ever danced with? Remember how you were the first boy to really see how smart I am? Remember how I had a crush on you freshman year? Sophomore year. Senior year? Remember how you were always so kind to me even when I didn't deserve it freshman year ? Sophomore year? Senior year? please just remember


Numbers were always Lydia's thing, she was the math genius, she loved numbers and they had absolutely no secret for her.

Being that good with numbers meant that she knew that the speed of light was 299 792 458 m / s .

it means that she knew that 149,6 million km exactly separated the earth from the sun but it also means that she remembers specifically , vividly and certainly howit' s been _three_ months , _ninety_ days , exactly _129600_ minutes since _he_ left her .

It was Friday , a typical one , she woke up , got her make up done , dressed up and went to attend her different classes at MIT , the day seemed to roll in normally and before she knew it , she was heading back to her dorm room ready to step out of her heels , change into her pajamas and call it a day but her plans shattered to million pieces when she saw him right there standing at her door .

It was 5:30PM, and he was there, at first Lydia thought she was daydreaming, that her mind was messing up with her until he made a step close to her and she realized he was actually here.

she closed the gap between them and threw herself into his arms , inhaling his scent , breathing him in , but he remained stiff not embracing her back like he would normally do and at the moment Lydia should have known that something was wrong , his eyes missed the usual sparkle they had when around her , his face missed that smile he reserved only for her

However Lydia smiled at him totally ignoring the weird feeling settling in her stomach

" Heeey ! I can't believe you're here! I thought you were busy this weekend I mean you barely answered any of my texts this week so I assumed … "

" Lydia ! We need to talk. "

" Of course we do ! don't think I'm gonna let you off the hook easily for ignoring my messages all week long , I mean Stiles I know the FBI keeps you busy and all but that's not an excuse for ignoring your girlfriend and yet it's cute that you came all the ways down here but I'm still mad at you ! I was worried about you! "

" LYIDA ! STOP "

Lydia flinched and for the first time ever , instead of the overwhelming heat that she felt whenever she was around Stiles , she felt an unfamiliar cold creep into her heart , millions of scenarios started running through her head

Images of the pack being hurt, her mom or maybe his dad until Stiles voice brought her back to reality

" Lydia, the reason that I have not been replying to you lately is

because … _I can't do this_ anymore , I can't do US anymore and I thought you deserve hear those words face to face , Lydia it's over , _we 're over_ "

Lydia froze, her heat skipped a beat and she felt her blood run cold .

Was this some sort of a nightmare ? Was she losing her god damn mind!

this couldn't be real right ? Stiles didn't say those words to her , because if he did it meant he was _breaking_ up with her?!

Lydia grabbed his arm and looked at his eyes searching for answers desperate for him to tell her this was some stupid joke , a lame bet he had with Scot to test her but his just started at her with firm eyes and said

" Look, I know you're probably surprised but really Lydia how much longer did you think we could make this work? Two more months? Maybe a year? We're in college now, we're growing up it's time to leave the whole high school fantasy thing behind , don't you think ?

" _high school fantasy ?_ She said in a broken voice , that's it ! That's what I was to you? Something to cross off your bucket list! And now that you have you're just done! What the fuck Stiles? "

" you're free to think about it the way you want , I am not here to fight , I said what I needed to say , goodbye Lydia "

And just like that he turned his back to her and left her there stoned to the ground like a complete idiot , she wanted to scream to run after him and tell him to stop to explain to her what the hell just happened

But she couldn't move, she couldn't breath and she couldn't speak , she just stood there completely and utterly broken

 _It's been one day, 24 hours and 1440 minutes and Lydia's world is already falling apart_

The first month was a living hell, Lydia doesn't remember much of it really, all she recalls is counting the days and the minutes, it's the only that kept her from completely losing her mind

She also remember Scott flying to Massachusetts to see her, she recalls him holding her while she cried her eyes out and lost herself in her sobs , she also remembers how his eyes fell to the ground , how his voice trembled when he told her that he found someone else , some girl named Emma , she was on his criminology class and she took her place

Once again Lydia martin was not good enough, once again she was left behind by men who she loved deeply and who choose to love someone else

 _It's been one month, 30 days , 43 200 minutes and Lydia feels like she's dead inside_

She spends her second month, angry, furious, haunted by the image of this new girl that Stiles choose over her, was she prettier than her ?

Was she smarter? Maybe she was thinner, funnier? Did she get all of his nerd references?

Was she a star war fan like him? Did they spend nights cuddling in his bed? Did he call her beautiful? Did he play with her hair like he used to do with her? Did he love her?

Lydia spent hours even days thinking about them together, kissing touching and it drove her mad , it made her sick to the stomach to think of him with someone else and every time she thought about the two of them together her heart shattered into millions of pieces and she felt like drowning so every night to drink yourself into oblivion just so she could forget the hole that he has left In her heart .

She drank and drank cup after cup so she could numb the agonizing pain that was eating her alive

She drank just so she could erase the images of him and his fucking girlfriend from her head .

By the end of the second month, Lydia was a complete and absolute mess

 _It's been 2 months, sixty days, 86 400 minutes since he left her and she doesn't know how to put herself back together_

The third month was an emotional roller coaster for Lydia , she stopped getting herself wasted every night , focused on her studies and before she even knew it she was back to topping all of her classes , Lydia martin was back on track on she was getting her shit together

But if that was true why did she wake up to find tears on her pillow every fucking morning?

Why did her heart _ache_ whenever she saw a star war poster?

Why did she kept his picture in the back of her drawer, why? Why was it so hard for her to let him go when he _clearly didn't want her anymore?_

Time healed all wounds, they said and so she believed, that with time she will be able to get him off her mind and finally find peace

 _It's been 3 months, eighty-nine days, 86 400 minutes since he left her_

 _she had graved , she was angry , miserable and finally ready to let him go , to rip him from her heart_

She was ready, really she was! She finally found the courage to bury her love for him even though she knew that she would be burring her heart with it but she was willing to pay the price to move on however destiny had a total other plan for her

On the last day of the third month she receives a voice mail form Scott that changes everything

" _Lydia, I'm sorry , I should have told you this sooner , but god ! He made swear not to tell you anything and I …. I couldn't let him down ,Stiles , he's … he's my best friend he's my_ _ **brother**_ _Lydia ! And god! I can't believe I agreed to this bullshit I mean he's a wreck without you and so are you !_

 _Lydia you deserve to know the truth …. Stiles he's … he's_ _ **sick**_ _Lyds , it's a rare form of dementia that touches people in the twenties ! I mean how fucked up is that !_

 _And there's no other girl , there was never another girl it was always you for him Lydia !_

 _it was a lie he wanted you to be angry with him , he didn't want to hold you back but Lydia ….…god I'm sorry but you have to see him , I'll send you the address of the hospital he is in , it's here he wanted to be near you in case he …. I'm sorry Lydia "_

Lydia doesn't remember what happened after that she doesn't remember how she got to her car or how she drove all the way to the hospital, or even how she asked the nurse for his room .

All she remembers is standing in front of his door looking through the glass and feeling her lungs running out of air at the sight of him

He looked pale all color drained from his face , his eyes seemed so tired with bugs under them like he hasn't slept for weeks , his hair was bit taller and _god_ how much weight did he lose ?

she opened the door with her shaky hands and he immediately turned his head toward her sensing a presence in his room

His eyes opened wide when he saw her and he quickly tried to set up

'' Lydia …." he said with a trembling voice

She wanted to scream at him , to kick him _so hard_ for the hell he put her through she wanted to call him all sort of names but the only words that come out of her mouth were

'' you're sick …, you're sick "

" Scott, he told you didn't he? Fuck, Lydia let me explain "

" Explain?! Explain what?! You're fucking sick! And instead of telling me you break up with me?! You make me believe that you're in love with someone else ! That I didn't matter to you ?! And you want to explain what! Do you have any idea how I felt in the past _three_ months?! Lydia felt the tears rolling down her cheeks and her voice choke with each word

" DO YOU KNOW HOW I FELT ! ! Being close to you yet _so far_ ! Stuck in this fucking hospital with all these doctors treating me like some charity case ! and GOD Lydia do you know how much I _missed you !_ How many times I wanted to call you …''

'' I MISSED YOU TOO YOU FUCKING IDIOT ! I couldn't _breathe Stiles , I couldn't think , I couldn't eat , I couldn't sleep and every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing your face and god it felt like I was dying every single day so why !? Why did you do this to me?! to US !_

'' BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! II FUCKING LOVE YOU! I … Lydia you're the first and the last woman that I have ever loved and I _love you_ so much _that it hurts_ and _you_ , you deserve the world Lyds , you deserve to be with someone who remembers how you like your coffee with extra sugar , how you're allergic to fish , someone how knows that green is your favorite color ,that you watched the notebook about fifty times Someone who is going to be there when you win the Fields Medal …. and in a year maybe two I am not gonna even know what my _name is_ and I don't want you to be here stuck in a hospital with me instead of achieving your dreams so I did what I have to do Lyds , _I wanted_ you to hate me because if you did then it would make it easier for you to move on and Lydia I was _there_ with my mom and …I can't make you go through that !

…. I …I just want you to be happy "stiles voice broke at the end and she could see his eyes starting to water.

For the first time in three months Lydia felt her heart beat really beat, he loved her , Stiles _loved_ her , but how could he be _so_ stupid and blind ?

Didn't he know by now? Didn't he know that as long as she was by his side she was happy ?

She didn't need awards, _she didn't want_ anything else in this world as long as he held her hand as long as he loved her !

Didn't he get by now that they were a package deal: Stiles and Lydia, Lydia and Stiles they stood together no matter what hell was thrown in their way and they always made it through.

Lydia closed her eyes and recalled that moment all these years ago, those last words he whispered to her before he was taken away by the ghost riders and as the words played in her head like a track , she found the exact right words

" I opened a hole in space and time _for you_! So dementia is a piece of cake compared to that Stiles. WE will find a way to defeat this TOGETHER like we always had, _you will find a way to remember_ "

 _Remember how you were the first girl I ever danced with?_

" Remember how you were the first boy to really see how smart I am? "

 _Or how I had a crush on you freshman year? Sophomore year. Senior year?_

" or how you were always were so kind to me even when I didn't deserve it freshman year ? Sophomore year? Senior year?

 _Or how you saved my life?_

"Remember how you saved my life so many times I lost count?

 _Just remember, remember I love you._

" Remember how you 're the first boy that ever made me feel _loved_ for how I was remember that I am completely , undeniably in love with you and I won't let you go I won't let you push me away"

And before she could even say anything else Stiles pulled her closer to him and captured her lips with his, Lydia could feel the salty taste of tears on her lips she couldn't quite tell if it was his tears or her own , but it didn't matter to her all what matters is that he was kissing her and she just lost herself in him.

His breath was hot on her skin, his hands lost in her hair and they stayed like that for what seems like an eternity completely isolated from the outside world .

 _It's been three months, ninety days, exactly 129600 minutes since he left her . Exactly forty five minutes, 2700 seconds since she got him back and she is never going to let him go_

Author note : you didn't really think that stiles could actually leave Lydia didn't you ? So this is soo different from what I usually write but I hope you enjoy it reviews are always welcome


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